


Detransitioning

by bladesummonerv



Series: Can You Take My White Ass To the Dog Park [2]
Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Depression, M/M, Transphobia, can't have nothing in fantasy detroit, we are digitally removing Geralt's mustache
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:00:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27443053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bladesummonerv/pseuds/bladesummonerv
Summary: One mans trash is another man's trash is another man's trash is another man's treasure. Gender. One man's sand. (Cover of Jerma's enemy spider song made by clipping Geralt) Hmm hm hmm hm. One man is another man's treasure. Jaskeir's gonna help Geralt in the trash doge bonk.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Series: Can You Take My White Ass To the Dog Park [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2002996
Comments: 4
Kudos: 2





	Detransitioning

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sure real people can detransition, but fictional characters? It's got to be a metaphor or something. Anyway, this is some kind of AU where Geralt can't pass despite being, you know, a big wolf.

"And please don't see me any differently." Geralt concluded.

"I am seeing you... respectfully." Hey guys did you know... That Geralt is gender-fluid? I mean did you know that he's a knock-out both ways? "Are you gonna let me push in your chair for you??" Jaskier said, and then gasped. "Are you not gonna talk... AT ALL?"

"I can talk. Talk." Me ma mo. Geralt tilted his chin. "I don't like talking, anyway."

"How'd you do that?"

"Dunno."

"Do... Should it not be Geralt anymore?"

"Well you can call me Geralt." Geralt said. His voice was like glass, or a knife.

"Oh. But what's everyone else calling you?"

"Witcher."

"It'll catch on, trust me! You can't go about this the same way you go about everything." Jaskier complained. Ah fuck! He's gonna have to change all the music. I mean yeah women can be brave and noble but also... soft or something. What would the public like... hm... Cross your eyes a couple of times until you stop seeing Geralt as himself...

"Aren't people gonna see us together and remember you being less curvy?" Jaskier wondered. He's got boob armor, but, like, tastefully. 

"No, Jaskier." Geralt sighed.

He had a tasteful waist, too. You can't just get rid of his entire stomach what with all that core strength, but his hips contrasted it. The Witcher is progressive, you can't tell them they can't have a complex gender. I can though. "Geralt. You don't seem happy." I mean shouldn't he be! 

"I'm never happy."

"You sometimes are."

"When."

"I dunno. I think sometimes in the morning you're happy. I'll tell you next time I catch you and I'm sure you'll have an excuse."

Geralt smiled and shook his head.

"Oh, we should do your hair. It's nice and long, we can probably make it look really really nice. It was nice before, I like it."

"It's fine." Geralt said, and Jaskier remembered he didn't know how to braid hair very well, and that his hair was probably not the first thing Geralt needed to focus on. There's something incredibly sexy and brave about Geralt's hair. Sexy! That's a thing women can be.

"Are you going to put heels on your boots so your legs will look good even when you're fighting?"

Geralt looked at Jaskier like you can't have weird black eyes and still be graceful. "When I need new shoes."

"Ooh, what about Sapphira."

Oh, here's another look from him. "If I replace Roach with a dragon, I'll let you know."

"Natalia." WHOOF FOUR SYLLABALS.

"Triss. Lise. Joane." Geralt said. He must have read Jaskier's face.

"Yen. Ifer. Steal her name. Julian that's neutral. I think it would be flattering."

"Alright. My name's Jaskier." Geralt said, and Jaskier grinned. "No!" He laughed.

"Sounds dumb, wearing heels. Who's gonna see me, the monster? Heels are too loud, I'd get more attention." 

"Well if you're not wearing them inside and you're not wearing them outside, you're just not wearing them. And that's fine, you're tall. I think tall girls wear them, though."

"No, I'll wear them for Roach. My riding boots."

"Oh, for Roach."

\---

"You're serious about this." Jaskier said, catching Geralt picking clotted blood out of his OWN hair in the bath. "Am I allowed to be in here?"

"Fine." Geralt folded his legs up, sitting with one foot underneath him.

"Oh," Jaskier took off his shirt. "I was actually just teasing you about being co-ed."

"Childish." Geralt grabbed his hand to make it easier for him to step in. Yeah, Jaskier has seen him. A lot. At different angles, too. 

"Oh, are you supposed to be in my lap?" Jaskier realized, leaning against Geralt's chest and arm.

Geralt looked at him impatiently. They shuffled around. Always a pleasure to have a Witcher on one's lap.

"So, it's still Geralt." Jaskier asked, crossing an arm around Geralt's stomach.

"It's Jaskier. You're surprised that _I_ 'm tossing out norms?"

"I guess your right."

"People just are what they are," Geralt growled. "I'm a Witcher, I didn't learn anything besides fighting."

"And you're polite when you really want to be," Jaskier started a quick little list, getting a snort from the wolf. "And you dress well, and you're good with Roach." Jaskier touched his arm. "I'd rather walk than break my leg falling," Negotiable! "And I'm not that great a fighter to make up for it."

"Well collarbone is worse." Geralt said, I think he was actually serious, but Jaskier laughed for his timing. "Everybody falls sometimes. I can't control everything around her. She doesn't mean it."

"Mm-hm." 

"If you try to get me in a party dress, I'll kill you. I don't need any help."

"No. I just don't know what you want." Jaskier cupped some water and helped Geralt finish cleaning his hair. I guess! I guess he doesn't need help. He tipped his head back against Jaskier's shoulder.

"I don't care." 

"No." Jaskier kissed his temple. "Tell me."

"I don't care. You can play with my hair. Call me Talia. Buy me new shoes. I don't care about any of this. I should be allowed that privilege."

"I guess. Sounds boring. Just ride around looking stoic."

Geralt kissed his jaw.

"Do you want to know what I think about gender."

"If you talk about how hard it is to be a guy in baby blue, I'll tie you to a manticore. Or the guy in blue who flirts." 

"Fine." Jaskier said, kind of extremely mad. Why does Geralt get to make the goalposts.

"Gender isn't reactive it's just in you. It's when you're alone." Geralt out with Roach telling her how to be a man and the trese whispering about him.

"Gender is not when you're alone!" Jaskier splashed some water out on accident, and then rested his hands against the insides of Geralt's arms. "I knew you'w're doing this on purpose. You have to care about it, it's pretty much everything about you."

"Well, I'm not."

"You're gonna. I'm gonna help."

"I'll just keep being miserable and angry no matter what I do and you can do whatever to my stupid fucking hair." Geralt sighed. "I don't care. You and Yen and the other Witchers."

"You're not a wolf, you can't just go and live in a mountain. But, while we're in this tub, we can both be Jaskier and it won't be confusing." Jaskier nudged the inside of Geralt's wrist on his way to grab one of his hands and see if his fingers were wrinkled.

"That's right." Geralt grumbled and curled up, chin and maybe even lips under the water. Jaskier hugged him. "The armor was kind of expensive. It's my armor, you know?" Geralt mumbled.

"Let me sell it back to them, I'll get equity. Did you actually break your collarbone?" Geralt was using Jaskier's as a pillow.

"Getting bucked off a horse, yes. Getting thrown against a tree, yes. Getting pushed off a balcony, yes."

"Oh. A balcony?"

"Yeah." Geralt said, and tried to summon up the story.

\---

"Thanks for all the material." Jaskier remembered to say.

"Balcony doesn't rhyme with anything."

"I meant the other stuff. Too many names in that story."

"Don't write a song about my manhood." Geralt whined.

"Not directly. I am changing some of the songs, even if your name is the same."

Geralt sighed. Oh, he's all about changing the songs as long as it's about the monsters, huh.

"I've decided that bravery and nobleness are neutral traits."

"Ugh."

**Author's Note:**

> Always a pleasure to have a Weasure. At your leasure. Sitting on your collarbone. Sitting on your lap. Sitting on your  
> 
> 
> \---
> 
> Ooh here's this. Now it's just sounds like I'm mad.  
>   
> 


End file.
